As I watched the clock tick down in the fourth quarter of
our playoff game Friday evening, it finally hit me that my four years as a
student and a lacrosse player at the University of Kansas was coming to an end.
I looked myself down, admired the crimson and blue colors on my uniform and
knew that this would be the last time I would be standing between the pipes at
a competitive level—well, as competitive as Division 1 “club” lacrosse can get,
but I’m having a moment here so cut me some slack.
Anyways, I circled the
crease a couple times, tapped the pipes with my cleats, felt the turf and
tried, for the first time in my athletic career, to soak in and appreciate the
5 minutes that I had left in cage.
That was the fastest 5 minutes of my life.
Time is a funny thing. It’s something we’re all short of,
yet we cannot fully appreciate it until it has passed. Throughout the semester, a close friend would constantly text me to urge me to enjoy practice,
enjoy playing and to leave happy. If there’s one thing I regret in my 4 seasons
at KU, it’s that I never really listened to that advice. Until those final 5
minutes, I never really took a second to step back and smell the roses and I
never really allowed myself to fully appreciate the opportunity and the gift
that I was given.
For those of you who know me best, you know that I am, if
anything, hyper-competitive. I hate losing more than anything on this earth,
even more than salmon—and I hate salmon.
Day after day, practice after practice I would return home
angry about something I could have done better. I was never satisfied and was
constantly critiquing my performance. In many ways, this quality has proved to
be beneficial. I had undoubtedly my best season to date, and, more importantly,
our team did too. This drive is also applicable to many other aspects in my
life, whether it is with school work, music, videos…etc. I am by far my biggest
critic. With that said, living a life with a constant hunger is to live a life
knowing you will never be fully satisfied. And to live a life without
satisfaction is one that will leave you a with constant feeling of emptiness—no
matter how full your stomach is.
Now I’m not saying I’ve had a huge revelation and am going
to change my mentality all together, but again, it all buckles down to this
“time” thing.
Growing up, I listened to all the crazy stories my dad would tell
me about his college days and I always thought, “I can’t wait to get there.”
The one thing he would reiterate to me was to enjoy my time there, because it
goes quick— Well, Dad, I think I speak for myself, and every other graduating
senior when I say you could not have been more right.
That $h!t flied.
There’s that old cliché saying that “time flies when you’re
having fun” and it’s true. But I’m here today to challenge that a bit. I’m here
to remind you all that “time flies—period.”
Sure, pulling an all-nighter to cram for that bull$h!t
gen-ed course—knowing you’re bound to forget all the material by 5pm that
day—seemed like it lasted a century at the time, but how about right now? A
blur, right? Now #That$h!tCray, Kanye.
At halftime of our game, I urged my teammates to leave everything
on the field. To give this final 30 minutes absolutely everything they had so
at the end of the game, win or lose, we knew we gave it our all. Coming into
this game, our team was bumped, bruised and beat up in every which way you
could imagine. We were short on numbers and missing some key players, but I
know that for at least those last 30 minutes, they gave it their all. Although
we made a push at the end of the game, it just wasn’t enough and we came up
short, thus, marking the end of my athletic career.
Maybe that’s why I’m writing today—to serve as a reminder
that time just doesn’t fly when you’re having fun, but time flies—period.
In the 4 years I’ve spent at KU, I can’t recall every time
I’ve gotten drunk. I can’t recall every time I’ve been to a basketball game. I
can’t even recall every time I’ve gotten laid—sorry Ma. But what I can recall,
are the people that have been right there with me from the start. I guess this
ties into the whole “it’s not the memories you have, but who you share them
with” idea. It’s about sharing your life and creating memories with the people
you care about and with the people who care about you.
New friends are picked up and dropped in college like 3hr
credits each semester. People come into your life when it’s relevant or
convenient and disappear faster than a 4.0 GPA freshman year. And that’s okay.
People have their own motives and intentions, as they should. But from my
experiences, I’ve learned that it’s important to never hold anyone to your own
expectations, if you do, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
It’s great to have a lot of friends, relationships…etc., all I’m saying is,
find the people who you know in your heart of hearts will be there for you at
the drop of a hat, and cherish them when they are.
Final Fraze: Graduating
From The Golden Years
When I wrote my first single, “Golden Years” this past
January, what I was thinking about was essentially the time leading up to
graduation. The chorus plays, “This is
the song that is gonna make you wanna shout, so let it flow—don’t hold it in,
let it out. Time goes fast soon we gonna have to face our fears, but while we
here let’s throw it down for the Golden Years.”
Now that the lacrosse season is officially over, graduation
is approaching and me and my fellow seniors will soon be out in the real world,
I guess my advice to those of you who still have time remaining in school or in
any endeavors in life would be to not wait until half-time to realize the clock
is ticking. Don’t wait until the final 5 minutes to appreciate the moment and
the opportunity you’ve been given. And don’t wait until it’s too late to
appreciate the people who have been at your side from the get-go. Appreciate
them now, cherish them now and live for right now.
Finally, never leave yourself wondering, “what if?”—Get off
your @$$, and go find out. After all, there’s no better time than now.
Time flies—#period.
Much love and all the best,
-Fraze
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